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Sunday 14 June 2015

111

If he was not too tired and before evenings drinking I would learn Morse code with my father.

We would pretend to be radio hams in different continents sat across the kitchen table.  Hams use internationally agreed abbreviations allowing communication without knowing language.
 ‘599’ means ‘very readable, average strength, good tone’.  I was keen to please and learnt both Morse and Telegraphese quickly.  A bit like 1960s text speak.

He built a shortwave radio transmitter in the spare bedroom and a smaller one for me.  I would sit in the garden shed and transcribe pages of books he tapped out to me.  I had not read them, so could not cheat or guess the words.  He would check it at the end.

I got better, we would have conversations.  Like a Turing test, trying to work out if our responses were human or AI.

If you are dyslexic, reading and writing never become automatic.  It is always a code that you have to relearn.

At the @cryptoclass, I learnt how to create an encrypted folder containing a hidden one.  If you did not know the outer folder contained a hidden one you could not determine whether it existed.  Plausible deniability.  Both had different long passwords.

Standard PCs cannot produce random numbers.  Using specialist software, you move your mouse around the screen to generate the key, creating it yourself.

Though numbed by tranquillisers my mum would often play the piano.  She could sight read, had perfect pitch and could transcribe on sight.  With most music, she could hear it once and play it perfectly.

I would sit and listen to her play ‘Prélude à l'après-midi d'un faune’ and ‘The Sunken Cathedral’.  Transfixed by the beauty of them both.

Code … Decipher, Decrypt ≠ understand?

Monday 25 May 2015

Bury my Lungs at Wounded Me.



Bury my Lungs at Wounded Me.

In WW2, my father worked in a Reserved Occupation.  He was a Mechanical Engineer at Bailey Meters in Purley Way, Croydon.  This meant he was not allowed to fight.

During the war, he was on double shifts, seven days a week for months on end, eventually leading to a breakdown in his health.  He contracted TB and had a Pneumonectomy.  Taking out one and half lungs, removing some ribs in his back and cutting muscles in his neck so he always held his head to the right.  He spent five years in a sanatorium, came home and eventually got a War Pension.

He should have got a medal.

The surgery was carried out at the Royal Brompton Hospital where I have an appointment tomorrow. 
I am wondering if the hospital still has any bits of lungs pickled in a jar in the basement.  I would like to see them and re bury them in his grave.

Alpha 1 antitrypsin deficiency was not discovered until just before my father died in the 70’s and he was not tested for it as far as I know.  Obviously I inherited it from him.

The essence of a satisfactory health service is that the rich and the poor are treated alike, that poverty is not a disability, and wealth is not advantaged’. (Bevan)

The end of WWII coincided with the election of a Labour Government and the establishment of the NHS.  The Tories are back in power and the NHS feels like it is being dismantled.

Will I ever get to cash the cheque my father helped to write concerning the NHS?  Or will it be emasculated by 'austerity'.  I could not afford augmentation therapy privately in the UK, so perhaps i will 'drown in my own living room' as one of my sympathetic consultants so eloquently put it.

I bought the plot next to my parents.  At least me and my dad will keep each other company,  coughing from the grave.




Wednesday 20 May 2015

I recognise that cough

'He stopped. His expression changed. He began to cough. It was the most extraordinary cough I had ever heard in my life, and for a moment I couldn’t believe it was coming from him. It sounded like a klaxon, and from the way he bounced up and down in the chair, as if he were setting it on and off. I got up in alarm and patted him on the back. He began waving his hands towards the bed presently, and I looked around and saw bottles on his bedside table, and brought them all to him with a spoon. He pointed one out with a shaking hand, and I uncorked it and poured him out a spoonful – and one for the carpet in my excitement – and got it in his mouth. He managed to control himself for a moment, and presently began pointing silently under the bed.'

 Lionel, Davidson. “Rose of Tibet.” Faber & Faber,

Anyone in the Alpha community would recognise this description.  I am interested in literary descriptions of COPD and possible alpha 1 instances as i think it helps explain the condition to others.  The book is a pretty good thriller by the way, davidson wrote Kolymsky Heights which was recently reissued and which I greatly enjoyed.